My friend's dad recently had a stroke, and so my friend is in town for a few weeks, helping out.
I saw this friend last night and we sat on my porch, drinking beer, talking.
My friend said that you're never really prepared for the moment when you have to feed your dad, or help him go to the bathroom. And I think he's right about that.
We might cognitively know that this will happen some day, sort of like we cognitively know that we're all going to die, but it's a different thing altogether when the moment arrives and you're looking at the man who gave you life lying in bed, helpless as a baby. Suddenly the child becomes father to the man.
Suddenly the child becomes the man.
About Me
- Cameron Conant
- Author of "With or Without You" (Relevant Books, 2005) and "The Year I Got Everything I Wanted" (NavPress, 2007). Writer and provocateur. Realistic optimist. Community-minded individualist. Moderate Episcopalian with liberal Baptist and conservative Catholic sympathies. In awe of simplicity, gravitating towards aesthetics. Rejecting consumerism and cynicism. French-Canadian-Scottish-Irish-British: an American. I recently accepted a two-year assignment with the Peace Corps in Cape Verde, a chain of islands in the Atlantic Ocean off the north-central coast of Africa. You can contact me via message in a bottle, or via email at cameronconant@gmail.com.
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2 comments:
Ten years ago today my world changed when my father collapsed at work and became a heart patient. It wasn't too bad - but caring for him made me quite aware of his mortality and my own.
My heart goes out to your friend - thoughts and prayers headed his way. It isn't easy.
Several years ago my mother had a heart attack that should have killed her. Shortly after this my father became sick. My mom adored my dad and was his primary care giver till the day he died. He was an amazing man full of love for his family. During his illness (several years of declining health) I bathed, fed and helped dress him and yes - helped him to the bathroom and cleaned him up when he couldn't do it himself.
Something kicks in and you become able to do things you would never dream of doing. I'd do it again tomorrow.
Less than 5 months after his death from kidney failure my mothers kidneys also failed. Her road has been rocky these last 7 months and I've done some of the same things for her I did for my father.
All in the name of love for a parent.
I question my own mortality much more now. I'm single and wonder when I can't take care of myself - who will? Having to face a loved ones death really brings it close to home.
My heart goes out to your friend. Prayers for you both.
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